Dear Body
by When-Rabbit-Howls
Summary: "I have spent far too much time on a scale that merely weighs your affect on gravity, not the depth of your beauty." Chase comes to the realization that beauty is more than visible bones with the help of House. **NEWLY EDITED**
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings Dearest Readers! **

****NOTICE** This is the first fic I've written, however, I've done lots of editing. I honestly didn't like the layout and certain aspects of it, so I just did a bit of editing.**

**House is OOC at times. **

***DISCLAIMER: I do not own House or Stephanie Koszalka's letter. More information about the later will be given in later chapters.**

****MAJOR NOTE** I edited this ENTIRE story in ONE DAY. How many brownie points do I get?**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 1**

It had always been an issue for Chase…always. People around the hospital assumed that just because they thought he was attractive, that that meant that he thought he was too. Oh no, not in the slightest. He found himself to be unattractive and unworthy of any form of attention and affection. He never understood why people found him to be attractive. Maybe they were lying just to boost his ego. If he didn't find himself remotely attractive in any way, then why the hell should other people?

He stood in front of the mirror, shirtless, as he stared at what he had been cursed with. He ran a finger lightly over his slightly protruding ribs and then placed his hands on his shrinking waist line, hip bones sticking out in front of his fingers. His collarbone and sternum protruded vividly and his elbows lightly resembled door hinges. He always had to wear ankle braces because his ankles were becoming too weak to even support himself. He was so big that even his ankles couldn't support him anymore…

His green-blue eyes looked dully at his reflection, looking at his upper body as blonde hair fell into his eyes. Over time, he had been falling apart and sinking further and further into the pit that he had begun digging years ago. He eyes had begun losing their spark and clarity, and his golden blonde hair was now the shade of dirty blonde, no longer as bright as it once was.

They've had plenty of people with eating disorders come to the hospital for malnutrition and to receive psychological help. Every time a patient of that sort comes in, he saw his colleagues' and boss's reaction to them whenever they got wind of a new admission. Their reactions ranged from disgust to frustrated and everything in between. Chase, however, kept his reactions to himself; not wanting them to discover that he has the same problem.

"_People with that sort of problem take up valuable space in the hospital."_

Chase had to fight the powerful urge to leap from his seat and pound Foreman into the ground when he had said that.

Chase had always told himself when his "eating problem" first started, that it was completely innocent and harmless. He wouldn't eat dinner, claiming that he wasn't feeling too well. That went on for a little while, then lunch was reduced to half a sandwich (if that) and then lunch ceased to exist. Breakfast…well, breakfast never existed in Chase's life. He never ate in public because of the fear of what other would think about it…why he would be eating if he was already as big as he was.

Gradually, he lost weight; his body began to become skinner and weaker. Now, after 6 years or so, he had full-blown Anorexia and had no intentions of getting help and he continued to spiral out of control.

**HouseXChase**

Physicals: love them, hate them, either way…you have to do them.

It was Chase's first physical at PPTH and he was a bit nervous; he even considered skipping it, but he knew Cuddy would hunt him down and make him do it. He stood outside the examination room door, took a deep breath, and walked inside.

**HouseXChase**

Dr. Matthews knocked gingerly on House's office door before entering. House didn't look up from his PSP when Matthews stood in front of him. Matthews knew House's reputation very well; however, this was not the time for House to be an ass.

"Dr. House, we need to talk about something of…a bit of importance." Dr. Matthews said as he calmly looked at House, who continued to play his video game.

"If it doesn't involve alcohol, topless women, or—"

"It's about Dr. Robert Chase." Matthews cut in, causing House to look up. House saved his game and turned it off, placing it on his desk. Matthews now had House's attention…a rare event to happen. Matthews continued, "Dr. Chase had his physical today." House quirked an eyebrow at him.

"So?"

"I noticed that something wasn't right. It's pretty severe, Dr. House; however, due to patient confidentiality, that's all I'm allowed to say. All I ask is that you talk to him and see if you can get him to talk to you about whatever's going on." He paused, letting it sink in before continuing, "Normally I wouldn't do this, however, I'm worried. Dr. Chase is a good man and I would hate to see such a man to become worse in health if it's preventable. You will talk to him, yes?" House sat back and thought for a minute.

So something was wrong with his duckling, he always had the feeling that something wasn't quite right; now he knew it for a definite fact. He looked up at Dr. Matthews; he had a high tolerance of the man because he wasn't an idiot and he was actually a very good doctor.

"Fine, I'll talk to him. Can't make any promises that I'll get something from him. He's not exactly open about any aspect of his personal life." Dr. Matthews smiled and nodded.

"Understandable. I appreciate you trying." With that, he left; leaving House with his thoughts.

Something was wrong with Chase…and by the sounds of it, it's something severe if Dr. Matthews willingly came to speak with him about it to the point of the verge of breaking patient confidentiality. He felt his heart clench at the thought of his Aussie being in pain…or trouble.

Wait…_his_…Aussie? Since when was he possessive of his blonde duckling?

House sighed and gave up. He's always had strong feelings for the young doctor. He's only admitted that to Wilson though and he was surprised when Wilson gave him a knowing smile. House rolled his eyes at him for being so girly.

It was unfamiliar to him because he's never actually allowed himself feel affection for someone else since Stacey and even then, the affection was very limited and well controlled.

House turned to look at the conference room as all three of his ducklings walked in, coming from their various tasks. Chase looked…well, awful for lack of better words. House stood, grabbed his cane, and limped into the conference room. He didn't care that their patient was dying.

He cared more about his duckling that, he felt, was dying as well.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dearest Readers,**

**There's a bit HouseXChase moment in this chapter. I don't think it's really mushy-gushy, but House is a bit OOC.**

**This chapter has LOTS of editing, but doesn't really change the story in general.**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 2**

Chase sat on the ledge of the roof, legs dangling over the edge as he looked up at the sky, lost in thought. House watched him from his place by the door, leaning against it as he tapped his cane lightly against his shoe. He just stood there and stared fondly and thoughtfully at the blonde. It took him a long time to process the thoughts and feelings associated with Chase; he's never really understood those kinds of things because he never truly allowed them to enter him. These thoughts and feelings had made themselves known since he first laid eyes on Chase. Even though he told people that he hired Chase because of his father, which was honestly true to an extent, he knew that hiring Chase was one of the best decisions he's made since he's been at PPTH.

He quietly walked forward, careful to not scare his duckling. He smiled slightly at the realization that he was becoming possessive of the blonde. Chase briefly darted his eyes to his right as he heard someone approach, but turned his gaze back up to the clear blue sky, which had always reminded him of his boss's eyes. He felt his cheeks gain a little warmth as he thought fondly of the older doctor.

House sat on the ledge to Chase's right and gingerly lifted his legs to dangle on the ledge. He leaned his cane against the ledge near him, folded his hands on his laps, and turned his gaze up towards the sky as well. Silence fell between them for a few moments as House gathered his thoughts and Chase wondered why House was sitting with him.

Why had House bothered to go out of his way to come to the roof? He knew that House couldn't exactly use the stairs in the first place, so why had he climbed the many steps just to sit next to him? This was extremely unlike House, so what the hell was going on? But he honestly didn't mind having House with him. Unlike many people, he enjoyed House's company. Sure the older man could be a pain in the ass, it's what he's known for, but he's noticed that House had moments (even though there were few of them) that the older doctor would soften up…very slightly, but he noticed them.

"Dr. Matthews came to see me today." House started, still staring at the sky as he felt Chase stiffen next to him.

_So Matthews was right._

"Oh? What did he want from you?" Chase's voice was steady and calm; he had a feeling where this conversation was going. House thought a moment.

Even though he got much enjoyment in pushing other peoples' buttons, he didn't like making Chase upset. Chase wasn't open about his personal life, so he honestly didn't know what his personal life was like. But he thought that since Chase was so tight-lipped about his personal life, then Chase has had experiences in his past that still haunt him and that not many people around have experienced. At that point, he did something that he never does:

He chose his words carefully. He knew that he was entering very dangerous territory and he didn't want Chase to clam up.

"He's worried about you…and so am I." Chase moved his eyes towards him.

_House is worried? Why? House…worried…about me? House doesn't "do" worry._

"He wouldn't tell me what he was worried about because of the damn patient confidentiality thing. However," He turned towards Chase, clear blue eyes locking with green-blue ones, "I've always noticed something about you since you first came here." Chase looked steadily at him, keeping his emotions in check.

"Oh? And what would this something be?" House noticed Chase's tone of voice, knowing that he was entering further into dangerous territory. Chase felt his heart clenched painfully and pressure built behind his eyes as he stared back into House's eyes, knowing that he was trying to get passed his defenses.

House began to see a look in Chase's eyes that he's never seen before began to shine: the look of absolute misery. Chase started to focus more on his breathing as he felt his emotions rise through his throat, threatening to flow from his lips and express themselves to House. A burning question floated to the forefront of his mind, wanted to be asked. Chase eyed House carefully, pushing emotions out of his eyes. House kept his face calm, but his heart fell as he saw the look of misery retreat back into green-blue depths, knowing that Chase was retreating into himself again.

"What do you truly think of me? Be honest." Chase asked it quietly, House barely able to hear him. The question surprised House a great deal, not seeing the question coming.

_Where did that come from?_

"What do I truly think of you?" House repeated quietly; again, knowing that he was very deep in dangerous territory, even though Chase was emotionally distancing himself. Chase broke eye contact, finding his hands more interesting.

"Chase," House said, trying to get the blonde to look up. He waited, knowing that Chase wouldn't look back up at him. Carefully, House reached over and gently grabbed Chase's upper right arm, instantly noticing the thinness of his arm. Chase tilted his head towards him, eventually looking up at him.

"I think that you're the most interesting person I've ever met." House started quietly, causing Chase's eyes to widen briefly. "That's one of the reasons I hired you: you're a puzzle. You're very difficult to figure out. You've been here for a few years and no one knows barely anything about you." He paused.

"I don't like talking about myself." Chase said softly.

"Why's that?"

"Does it matter?" Chase countered quickly, throwing House off with his automatic response.

_Don't push too hard, you ass._

"I guess it doesn't." House said. "You like to keep everything involved with your personal life to yourself. That's an interesting thing to me." Chase quirked an eyebrow.

"Why? A lot of people are like that."

"You're more tight-lipped than most people…and I'm curious as to why that is." Chase broke eye contact again and turned his gaze towards the sky.

_Back off, Greg, back off. Don't make him shut down._

"You don't give yourself enough credit." House continued after a few moments of silence. "You've very hard on yourself." Chase turned towards him again slowly.

"I believe you have to be your own harshest critic." Chase said smoothly. House nodded.

"Granted, but you're a brutal critic of yourself." Chase shrugged his shoulders slightly and turned towards the sky again. House sighed quietly.

_He has more defenses than I thought._

"You're the best member on the team in my opinion and I'm not saying that to boost your ego." Chase's body stiffen as he turned towards him, surprise on his face.

"What?"

"You're the best member I have on the team. You catch the small details and can break through the patients the best." Chase felt his face heat up slightly at House's compliment.

_I've never seen this side of House before. He never gives compliments._

"People say that I'm hard to figure out, but I don't really think so." Chase tilted his head, blonde hair falling into his dull green-blue eyes. "I think you're much harder to figure out than I am." Chase felt his face warm up again.

"I just don't like talking about myself."

"I know it doesn't really matter why that is, even though I am curious about your reasoning. If someone doesn't want to talk about their personal life, I don't push them about it unless it pertains to the case…or if I just want to piss them off, I do push them." Chase chuckled lightly as they locked eyes again. "But," House continued seriously. "If someone I care about is keeping something to themselves that is hurting them to the point that another doctor becomes concerned, that's when I become worried and do what I can to help them." Chase's eyes widened as he felt his breath get caught in his throat.

_What…did he just say? Did he say…someone he cares about? He…House caress about me?_

"You…you care about me?" Chase asked tentatively, feeling his emotions climb through his throat again. House's eyes softened more at Chase's tone of voice. He's never said anything like that to anyone before. He just admitted to Chase that he cares about him.

"Yeah…yeah, I care about you, Chase." He paused, letting his words sink in as he felt his heart hammer in his chest. "If you hurt, I hurt too." Chase tried to push back the emotion that threatened to leak into his eyes, but realized that he was failing. He's never seen this side of House, not knowing that this side of him actually existed.

_Where did this side of him come from?_

House felt his heart beat even faster as he saw strong emotion leak into Chase's eyes, knowing that he had at least put a crack in the blonde's defenses. Despite being in dangerous territory, he felt a huge sense of relief as he realized that Chase dropped his defenses, no matter how small. Chase broke eye contact with him again, but House wouldn't allow that to happen again. He carefully reached forward and placed a finger on the side of Chase's face, making the blonde turn towards him again.

"Dr. Matthews told me earlier today that something is seriously wrong with you and like I just said, that makes me worried and I'll do anything I can to help you…even if you won't let me. I'm notorious for my stubbornness."

Chase processed House's worried, realizing in that moment just how close he was sitting to House. He felt the older man's body heat against him and the gentleness of his finger against his skin, surprised that he could be this gentle and soft. His eyes closed slightly as his eyes dropped to House's left shoulder, not truly seeing it as he continued to process his words.

House was worried about him.

House was going to try to help him, even though he didn't know what he needed help with.

House cared about him.

House…was trying to break through his defenses.

He directed his eyes back up at House, hating the fact that emotion was now flooding his eyes, making them appear glassy. House felt his heart clench as he saw Chase's green-blue eyes flooded with the emotion that the blonde tried desperately to repress. They continued to stare at each other, House trying to see pass the blonde's defenses and into his thoughts, as Chase tried to figure out this new side of his boss. Silence few between them for a couple minutes.

"I don't want to talk about it." Chase said quietly, breaking the silence. House hid his disappointment, even though he highly doubted that Chase was actually going to open up in the first place.

"I know."

"Here." House's brow furrowed slightly, confused at Chase's statement.

"Here?" Chase nodded slightly.

"I don't want to talk about why Dr. Matthews is worried about me here." House then understood what Chase meant.

_So he is willing to open up…_

"Where then?" Chase hesitated, his face heating up once again. He turned away from House again, causing House's finger to slip away from his face.

"My place?" House's eyes wandered over Chase, surprised at Chase's suggestion.

"We'll leave at 9-ish, sound good?" Chase turned back towards him, locking eyes, slightly surprised at House's agreement. A small smile slipped onto his face as negative emotion left his eyes again; he nodded.

"Sounds good." They turned back towards the sky, comfortable silence falling between them. House carefully draped an arm around Chase's shoulders…his unusually bony shoulders.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dearest Readers,**

**Dark subjects are in this chapter, so if you can't deal with that…well, I honestly don't know what to tell you because those things are important in the story.**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 3**

Chase lay curled up on the center of his bed, his dull green-blue eyes staring at the window which offered very little light through the drawn blinds. The room was dark and slightly cold, making his face feel colder due to the tear stains on his face. His thinning body felt weak as his crying episode faded into sniffs as his mind felt exhausted.

He had fallen into the grip of flashbacks, screams and words ringing in his ears as images flashed before his eyes. His mind exhausted by the effort of attempting to fight back against the memories that flooded his mind. His body was drained by the crying episode that gripped him like a vice.

He sighed heavily as he brushed his hand across his cheeks, wiping away the last remnants of tears. Running a hand through his blonde hair, he laid his left arm out in front of him, looking emotionlessly at its thinness; white and pink lines littered his skin from years of self-injury. A deep vertical gash laid on his bicep, an angry shade of red compared to the slight paleness of his skin. He had taken the bandage off after he had removed his button-up, leaving him with his white undershirt hanging a bit loosely around his shrinking frame.

He and House had agreed to leave the hospital at about 9:00, but Cuddy decided to chew the older doctor out as they walked towards the exit. House had sighed dramatically and continued to walk towards the exit, but then Cuddy laid the ultimate trump card:

An extra 15 hours of clinic duty if he leaves the hospital.

So House said, giving Chase the looking that told him that he knew where he lived and would be at his place as soon as he could.

Chase jumped has he felt a hand on his shoulder and quickly looked up, not caring about the tears on his face. It was House. He was sitting on the edge of Chase's bed, looking at him with deep worry in his eyes. Chase blushed and redirected his eyes as he shifted his head to lie across his bicep, hoping that House didn't see the gash that he had inflicted on himself.

"Come here." House said and he walked out of the room towards the living area. Chase dragged himself up and followed. House was sitting on the couch, tapping his cane, when Chase arrived and carefully sat down next to the older man; he felt House's eyes fall on him. Chase wiped his hand again across his face, getting rid of the fresh tears they ran from his eyes when he saw House sitting on his bed. Silence lingered between them; Chase slumped back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm not going to force you to say anything. But, I think it'll be in your best interest if you did." House said, breaking the silence. Chase bit his lower lip lightly as his heart began to pound rapidly at the thought of what House would think of him.

"Anything you say will stay between us, okay? I'm not going to think badly of you, no matter what you say." House said softly as though reading his thoughts. Chase still remained quiet for a few minutes, making House think that Chase was having second thoughts.

"Remember when my dad came?" Chase asked and House had a feeling that his father played a huge roll in Chase's current state.

"Yeah, I remember."

"When I was young…he did more than just leave." He paused, trying to organize his thoughts. "He was...very, uh… very…verbally…abusive towards me. However, he never laid a finger on me. He screamed at me a lot; never said anything nice to me. He always said that I was…big and worthless. That I didn't deserve to have his blood and that I wouldn't amount to anything. He even said that I was not his son because I was not good enough to be." He sighed slowly, steadying himself. House had moved slightly closer to the blonde without Chase's knowledge. "He even said that no matter what I did, he wouldn't care in the slightest." House felt a burning anger ignite in his core.

"When I was 16 years old, I took him up on that…that he truly didn't give a shit about me." He paused. "I…I uh…" He choked and closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. Going against his better judgment, House moved closer to Chase and carefully placed an arm around Chase's bony shoulders, making the blonde lift his head and turn towards him; his green-blue eyes were glassy, surprised by House's comforting gesture. He was then surprised by his own reaction when he hesitantly leaned against House, which also surprised House.

"I…" House looked deep into Chase's eyes, trying to see what was making Chase hesitate. The blonde turned away from him and down at his lap. House heard him mumble something inaudible.

"What?" House asked quietly, knowing that he was beyond dangerous territory. Chase hesitated for a few moments.

"I tried to kill myself."

House's heart froze. He never saw any remote sign that had hinted towards a history of suicide. No scar, no sensitivity to when suicide was mentioned, nothing. His head and heart felt like they were about to burst with the very thought of never have met Chase because of suicide. He was snapped back to reality when Chase started speaking again.

"I put a gash on the left side of my rib cage, between two ribs, nicked my lung, and began to breathe blood; and just patiently waited. I blacked out and a few days later I woke up in the hospital…my dad wasn't there." Chase let out a sob as the memory came back to him. House tightened his hold on him, causing his brow to furrow as he felt Chase's bones stick unnaturally against his arm.

"My dad never came to the hospital…the only person who visited was my friend, Aura. She was my only friend." He let out a small laugh, "She's very silly. We try to talk to each other once a week or so…it's been more often lately." He paused, thinking about how Aura would try to make him feel better about everything.

"She tried to convince me that my dad cared and that he was just busy, but I knew better…he never cared." He paused again and House had a feeling that things were going to get worse, but he waited patiently for Chase to say those things on his own.

Chase leaned heavier against House, slowly inhaling his musky scent as he gently grabbed the hem of his blue shirt, fiddling with it slightly. House fought back a small smile that threatened to cross his face as he felt the blonde lean heavier against him, not used to this intense feeling of fondness and affection. He felt Chase fiddle slightly with the hem of his shirt and he began to smell a light scent of peach, but then realized that it was Chase's hair. Carefully, he reached up and brushed a small chunk of blonde hair away from Chase's face, resting his hand on the top of his head near his hairline as he looked down at him.

"When I was released from the hospital, I packed my things and moved in with Aura for a while…I didn't want to intrude for too long. But I couldn't let go of the feeling that the gash in my side brought, I missed that feeling and it felt like my skin was crawling." He hesitated.

"That was when I truly began to hurt myself. I moved from my torso to my arms. I knew that what I was doing was wrong and that I should talk to someone, but I couldn't imagine not having that feeling and telling someone about what I was doing would make me have to stop. So I kept it to myself, even Aura didn't notice." House brushed his hand over Chase's hair again, honestly not understanding why he was showing so much affection.

"Years passed. I was in medical school now, but I was miserable. I was still hurting myself as well." The thought dawned on House that if Chase had been hurting himself since he was 16; chances are that he's still in that cycle of self-destruction. He began to silently berate himself for not seeing the signs.

"Then when I was…about 20, I met someone who saw me as the exact opposite of what my father told me I was. But, then he changed…he started to become like my dad. He called me the same things my dad would and that I had too many flaws and that no one would ever love me because I was so imperfect."

"Chase," House said quietly, not wanting to startle him, "There is no, absolutely no such thing as perfect. People who say there is are lying." He felt Chase grip his shirt as House hoped that his words had some impact on him. Chase was quiet for a few moments.

"It was then that I started to think that the only way to be considered lovable was to find a way to be perfect. So, I did everything I could think of to make me perfect. Over time…I, um…kind of…" He didn't want to tell him. He couldn't bring up the shame.

"I…kind of…stopped eating."

House's heart fell to the pit of his stomach and anger at himself swell in his chest. He then thought back to earlier today when they were on the roof, when he had his arm around his shoulders…his very bony shoulders; even sitting here now…he could feel Chase's bones against him. He looked down at Chase's body, but he was only able to see his left side, so he began taking in the fact that he could vividly see his collarbone stick out from his body; his hand bones more prominent.

He then realized that he always wore long sleeves, even when he didn't have to; probably to hide the cuts and skinniness of his arms and torso. He always thought that Chase just had an angular face but no…he just didn't have enough fat in him to fill up his face, making it appear angular. He felt Chase shake, knowing that he was becoming overwhelmed.

House felt his anger towards himself grow hotter. Why didn't he see the signs? Why didn't he notice Chase's struggles, despite the fact that he was extremely secretive? Why didn't he see anything? He then began to remember what usually happens when he and the team get wind of someone being admitted for an eating disorder. He felt shame suffocate him when he realized that Chase never spoke a word as they said…very unnecessary things about it.

What the hell was wrong with them?

"Chase, look at me." He said quietly, he didn't want Chase to think that he hated him. Chase slowly looked up at him, misery evident in his eyes. House looked down at him evenly. "I don't think any less of you. I think that you made a wrong decision, but I certainly don't hate you and I'm not disgusted with you." He paused for a moment, wanting Chase to really hear his words.

"I think, right now, you don't want help for any this, but you need it…you could die from this. You're fine just the way you are and I don't want to lose you over something that can be dealt with. You don't have to get professional because I'm going to help you." House pushed away the thought of the large amount of irony and hypocrisy that was in his statement.

Chase was stunned.

House had accepted everything he said without looking down on him or hating him. He clearly said that he didn't want to lose him…because he cared. Chase realized then that this was his opportunity to take his life back. But taking his life back meant making lots of changes that he wasn't sure he was willing to make.

"You're willing to help me?" Chase asked cautiously and House allowed a small smile to spread across his face, surprising Chase.

"I don't like to say things I don't mean." It was Chase's turn to smile, lightening House's heart.

Chase looked away and towards the coffee table, feeling tiredness creep up on him. As he felt House's body heat continue to radiate through him, he realized that for the first time in a very long time…he felt safe. A small smile still on his face, Chase slowly closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**I know House was OOC, and that Chase was too. But I'm going to tell you guys right up front: Chase and House are going to be OOC for a lot of parts.**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dearest Readers,**

**Nothing important is to be said right now. ^^;**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 4**

House woke up the next morning with his leg feeling as though it were on fire. He shifted slightly, trying to not wake Chase. He got his Vicodin and swallowed 2 pills dry. He looked down at Chase, who was just starting to stir from his slumber. Chase looked up at him, weariness evident in his dull green-blue eyes. Chase felt heat flush through him as he sat up, embarrassed that he had fallen asleep on House.

His boss.

He ran a hand through his hair, not making eye contact with House. The older doctor looked carefully at Chase, wondering why he was acting kind of awkwardly.

"Thank you." Chase whispered and he tried to get up, but House stopped him.

"For what?"

"…listening…and not judging." House smiled slightly at Chase's awkwardness.

"Normally I wouldn't let people vent to me…but, you're an exception." Chase looked over at House and grinned slightly at his way of saying 'you're welcome'; he got up from the couch to go make coffee, House peering after him as he did so.

House was even more worried than when he was before Chase opened up to him. Chase had admitted that he hurts himself and that he no longer eats anything.

_Anorexia in males isn't common, that's why their cases are usually missed._

He also had a feeling that he hoped with every fiber of his being wasn't true. The feeling had been nagging at him all throughout the night; and although he didn't want to admit it: he was sure that this feeling was true.

Chase is suicidal.

_Chase being by himself is a dangerous thing now. Dealing with any case involving suicide is a very tricky and dangerous game…every person has their own trigger that can send them over the edge._

The almost certain fact that Chase is suicidal didn't sit with House at all; it left his insides crawling with worry and fear, although he wouldn't admit that he's scared. Yes, Chase smiled every now and then; however, suicidal thoughts and tendencies were very common with people who are anorexic.

_Take the Anorexia, verbal abuse from his father, apparent physical from another person, more verbal abuse from someone he was close to, an alcoholic mother, a previous suicide attempt, and self-injury that he's currently in…that's a perfect recipe for another suicide attempt, or at least intense suicidal thoughts._

For the first time in a very long time, he didn't know what to do; he didn't know how to help Chase, despite the fact that he promised Chase he would. He was a Diagnostician, not a psychologist. He doesn't deal with anything mental health related. So, when he didn't know what to do, and he sure as hell will take this secret to the grave, he was going to go talk to the one person he thought could help:

Wilson.

"Here," Chase's voice startled him and he turned to look at him holding a coffee mug out to him. He smiled lightly at the fact that Chase had used a red coffee mug and took it from him, Chase sitting next to him. They drank in silence until House started to laugh quietly. Chase turned to look at him, confused.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I'm just thinking of Cuddy's face when she sees you of all people walk in late." Chase turned around to look at the clock on the stove…he was 15 minutes late. Crap.

They finished their coffee in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, and Chase walked House to the door. House reached out and gently grabbed Chase's elbow, noting the boniness of the joint. He pulled Chase closer and the blonde looked up at him, his green-blue eyes seeming to stare straight through him.

"Chase, everything I said last night, I meant it. You don't need to be doing this to yourself."

"But—"

"You may feel like you deserve it…you don't. Someone once said that 'bones are not beautiful'. And I'm going to help you see that, Robbie." Chase's eyes went wide. Had House just call him by his first name? House never does that to anyone…ever. Mind, House has been acting very 'un-House-like' since yesterday.

"I'll…I'll see you at the hospital." Chase said finally and House felt disappointment formulate in him, knowing that his words didn't have an effect. He turned from him and opened the door; he was about to leave when he felt a hand grab his. He turned to look at Chase whose face now had a growing blush on it. House smiled at the man's shyness.

_He can get shy and embarrassed relatively easily. Not exactly something I expected from him, but it's an oddly strange thing to see._

"Can you…do you want…to…come by again tonight? You don't…you don't have to obviously, but…it…it would be nice." He asked shyly, not looking at House. House turned fully around and looked down at him, catching his eyes.

"I will if you get take-out." Chase snorted at his response.

"I suppose I can do that."

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Like I said, House and Chase will be OOC at a lot of parts.**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	5. Chapter 5

**Dearest Readers,**

***WARNING: This chapter is a bit graphic. There's no sexual innuendo or anything, but it involves blood. **

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 5**

House barged into Wilson's office without knocking, making Wilson jump. Wilson looked up angrily, but then realized who it was and went back to his paperwork. House walked over to Wilson's window and peered out; looking at the gray sky…it seemed to match his mood right now. He couldn't stop worrying about Chase. He was nervous to leave his apartment this morning, afraid that Chase would do something drastic. Wilson looked up at House, surprised that he hadn't said anything yet. He watched House stare out the window, deep in thought.

He was worried…he wanted to actually talk about it…but he didn't know how to start the conversation. These moments were rare, so Wilson knew that smartass remarks were not allowed.

"House? Is something wrong?" Wilson asked tentatively, knowing that House was completely unpredictable when he was like this.

"Dag Blast it you're right! I knew you were useful for something." House retorted, still staring out the window. Wilson sighed; he knew that sarcasm was House's way of letting off steam.

"What's wrong?" House didn't say anything for a minute or so and Wilson thought that he changed his mind about saying anything about what he was worried about.

"Chase is…not in a safe place." Wilson sat up straighter in his seat.

"Not in a safe place? Where is he? Do you know?" House shook his head and looked over at him.

"That's not what I mean." Wilson understood what House meant now:

Chase wasn't in a safe psychological place.

"What's wrong?" He asked seriously as House sat on the couch, tapping his cane.

He promised Chase that he wouldn't tell anyone what he told him. However, he had a strong feeling that Chase was going to do something drastic and soon. Chase needed someone to get him help because he's not going to stop what he's doing on his own. He turned to Wilson and Wilson saw intense seriousness in his eyes.

_I've known House for years and this is the first time I've ever seen him this worried and serious._

"No one finds out about this, am I clear?" House said, a sharp edge in his voice. Wilson nodded.

"Of course, what's up with Chase?"

"I have a strong feeling that he's suicidal." Wilson slumped back in his seat, completely blown away by what House just said.

_Chase? Suicidal? But…how would House know about that? Suicidal people may drop hints of their intentions, but they rarely, if ever, flat out say it._

"How do you know that? I doubt that he flat out said it." House hesitated.

"He's tried before." Silence filled the room as House's words floated between them, seemingly reverberating off the walls.

"Someone who has attempted suicide before will most likely try again if they don't get proper care."

"He never got that proper care." House cut in, staring at the floor. Wilson eyed his friend carefully. This was a new thing for him: he's never seen House in this state. He's never seen his friend so worried about someone.

_He doesn't have any control in Chase's situation. House needs control. If he doesn't have a sense of control, it either pisses him off or terrifies him…but he would never admit that he's terrified of not having control. But House is more likely to get pissed off about not having control than scared. He…really does care about Chase._

"We need to do something…but…what?" Wilson looked up at the sound of helplessness in House's voice. He hesitated momentarily.

"Actually…there's no 'we' in this, remember? YOU need to do something. I'll be here, but I can't get directly involved without Chase getting suspicious." House nodded, realizing that he was right. He sighed heavily; worry still increasing within him. Wilson smiled slightly.

"You really care about him don't you?"

"Don't get all 'teenage-hormone-raged-girl' on me, Jimmy." Wilson's smile widened, he knew House was being defensive. But, he decided to let it go and House stood and left the office.

**HouseXChase**

He screamed in frustration and tugged at his hair, leaving small streaks of blood in the golden locks. He angrily pulled his hands away from his hair, looking at the traces of blood and strands of blonde hair. His dull green-blue eyes traveled down to his left arm where he had made a fresh cut near his elbow and deepened the gash on his bicep. He wrapped his thin arms around his legs that were tucked up to his chest and he rested his forehead against his knees. He made himself as small as possible as he sat in the space between the shower and the sink, more tears streaming down his face as he realized that he couldn't fit into the small space as well as he used to.

He was getting bigger.

House knocked on Chase's door and waited for him to answer it. He paled and his heart seemed to stop when he heard a muffled scream coming from the inside of the apartment. House let himself into the dark apartment and saw a light coming from what he assumed to be the bathroom. He walked as quickly as he could towards the room and peered in.

Drops of blood were near the wall to his right along with a small pocketknife that glinted in the dull light. House's eyes darted away to look for Chase, surprised that he couldn't see the blonde at first glance. He knew Chase was in there because he would hear him breathing; his eyes then saw a smear of blood near the center of the floor that led towards the space between the sink and shower.

_He must have cut himself near the wall and then moved to the space between the sink and shower._

House walked forward carefully so that he wouldn't scare Chase. He looked down at Chase, bloody and broken. His clear eyes narrowed worriedly as he saw the vividness of Chase's spine and other bones. House sat on the side of the shower and reached out to gently Chase's hair, noting the small amount of blood that was streaked through it.

Chase jumped and looked at House, eyes wide. How did he get in? He must've left the door unlocked. He began to grow angry and his dull eyes narrowed. What right did House have to come into his apartment without his permission? He was doing fine until House came in and ruined everything. He was doing fine before House confused him to the point of frustration. House carefully moved his hand to place in on Chase's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Chase snapped, slapping House's hand away.

House was surprised by the change in behavior and watched, worriedly, as Chase wormed his way out of his space and stood in front of the mirror. House looked at Chase's figure, realizing that it was worse than he first thought. He could obviously see that he was skin and bones, despite the fact that his white undershirt and black lounging pants covered the skinniest parts of his body. His mind took in how Chase's clothes hung loosely on his thin frame as dull eyes glared angrily back at him. House stood and slowly walked towards Chase, not wanting him to lash out at him. Chase noticed this and his glare deepened.

"Don't come any closer." Chase warned his voice thick from crying. House stopped, his worry growing from not only Chase's current condition, but by the fact that he's never seen Chase this angry before.

"Chase, listen to me. I'm going to try to help—"

"I don't need help!" Chase snapped again. "I was doing fine until you got involved."

"Fine? Chase, you're far away from being fine."

"You're saying I'm hard to look at now?" Chase said, his voice rising.

"No, you're not hard to look at and everything I've ever said to you was not a lie. Your current physical state is not safe or healthy. If you continue like this, you'll die." House put emphasis on his last statement.

"So?" Chase's eyes burned House to the core, but House felt his heart stop and body freeze at Chase's response.

_There was no emotion in that; not in his voice or body language. He doesn't seem to care or is even fazed by the reality that this can kill him. I know he's tried to kill himself before, so what I've thought earlier was right: Chase is suicidal._

Chase looked away from him, placing his hands on his hip bones, anger radiating from him. House sighed and stepped closer, choosing his words carefully.

"You know what I think?" He said.

"If I say yes, do you still have to tell me?" Chase shot back, sparking House's anger. But the older man pushed it down, knowing that Chase's retort just bruised his pride, not anything else.

_Despite how much I didn't like it being directed at me, that was good on his part._

"I think that you have been forced to believe a lie, thanks to your father. I think that you feel the things that you do and have thoughts that you're worthless and other things along that line because you had no one around to contradict those ideas." He paused, hoping that his words were having some kind of effect. "But you're not, Robbie, and everyone would say the same thing."

Chase turned to look at him, his glassy eyes looking bright in the dull light. He processed House's words as he stared into House's eyes. He saw pure honesty in their blue depths. He turned towards the mirror and looked at himself, taking in every feature.

How many times has he stood in this exact spot and stared at himself? Picking apart every single flaw he saw? House's words echoed in his head, combating his pre-existing degrading thoughts. He darted his eyes back towards House and took a small step forward. Chase hesitated before taking another step before reaching his boss and wrapped his arms around House's middle, laying his head on his shoulder.

House leaned his cane against the sink and wrapped his arms around Chase's narrow shoulders, the smell of peach invading his nose again. He felt his heart clench when he felt something warm against his neck and a small sniff.

Chase was trying not to cry.

House knew that Chase had pride, who doesn't? So he knew that that was the main reason Chase was trying so hard to not cry. The blonde didn't want to show vulnerability or weakness, but House knew that crying wasn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness, even though he wouldn't admit it.

_Chase has always had to emotionally protect himself. He's been doing it for so long that he's become an expert at it. He never shows any sign of anything that would remotely show that he was struggling somehow, even if he was just feeling "under the weather". He's always had to fight against other people, but there's only so long you can fight before you start losing your strength to fight anymore._

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**I know House is kind of sounding like a hypocrite right now, but it's honestly just how I want him to be.**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dearest Readers,**

**This chapter has a bit of profanity.**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 6**

Chase was the first one in the conference room the next morning. He sat down in his chair with his crossword puzzle; however, his mind did not focus on the puzzle in front of him. He rubbed his left arm gingerly, feeling the bandages underneath his shirt. House had patched up his arm; the gash near his elbow needed a few stitches and a good cleaning. He wouldn't let House touch the gash on his bicep, even though it took quite a while to make him back down. Neither of them spoke as House went to work patching up his arm. A tiny smile graced his lips as he remembered the feeling of House's fingers against his skin, noticing that sometimes his fingers would linger longer than necessary.

Cameron and Foreman came into the conference room, bringing him out of his thoughts. They carried on their conversation and sat down, waiting for House to arrive. After 30 minutes of waiting, House finally showed up, folder in hand. He dropped the folder on the table and began writing symptoms on the board.

_24 year old Female_

_Blood in saliva_

_Erosion in stomach/esophagus_

_Deteriorating teeth_

They stared at the board with raised eyebrows, why were they given a case so easy?Chase began to squirm in his seat, no longer looking at the board. This girl was bulimic. Did House do this on purpose? Did House purposefully find a case that involved an eating disorder or was it just coincidence? Was House deliberately rubbing his problem in his face?

Chase glared at House, who was looking back at them calmly. Yeah, he found this case on purpose. Anger burned inside him; after everything House has said and done…he had to go and rub his problem in his face. He felt his eyes narrowed dangerously at the table, as he felt House's eyes fall on him.

"So! Let's go meet this Princess!" House said, a little too hyper to be considered normal for House. Cameron and Foreman looked at him quizzically; House wanted to go visit a patient?

"Who are you and what have you done with House?" Foreman said as he stared, confused at House, who was now twirling his cane. House grinned.

"Oh you're so silly, Mr. Home-boy! Come, come! Let's go!" House led everyone out of the conference room; Chase dragged himself after the team.

**HouseXChase**

Her name was Lily and she was pissed. Like usual, House didn't seem to care as he stood at the foot of her bed.

"So," House began as he stared at the young woman, "you have heard of diet and exercise, yes? Shoving your finger down your throat isn't going to get you anywhere…well, except here. The blood in your saliva is from the tear in your esophagus and stomach. The tears are from the stomach acid that you so kindly keep vomiting and the acid is also making your teeth deteriorate…interesting huh? So, in order for the tears to heal, you need to quit making yourself throw up. You need to quit this behavior, otherwise you're going to be here for a very, very long time."

Lily glared at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. Chase glared at him as well from his place by the door; House was having a 'major ass episode'. Chase wanted to say something, to tell Lily that she didn't have to resort to this kind of behavior, but that would make him a hypocrite…and anything that he would say to her, he wouldn't believe himself.

"Fuck off, you jerk." Lily spat as she turned to look out the window.

"You're just angry because I'm right." House said, grinning.

"No, I'm pissed because you seem to think you know what you're talking about when in reality, you don't. You have no idea what it's like to make yourself vomit just to make yourself feel beautiful."

Right now, she didn't need a doctor…she needed someone who understood. Shaking slightly, he walked towards the side of her bed, attracting Lily's attention. He reached up and removed his name tag and shoved it in his pocket. House eyed him carefully as Cameron and Foreman looked on with curiosity and confusion.

"What are you doing? Why did you take your name thing off? Aren't you supposed to wear it?" Lily asked, confused. Chase tucked his hands in his pockets and looked her in the eye.

"I took it off because I'm not going to talk to you as a doctor. I'm going to talk to you as a fellow human being. I've..." He didn't want to say that it was actual him who struggles with an eating disorder. He was just going to make up a little white lie. "I've known someone with an eating disorder." House continued to eye Chase, expecting him to not admit his eating disorder.

"Oh please! I could tell from the moment I saw you that you're a fancy rich guy who's never had any problems. Mommy and Daddy still buy you things even though, by the looks of it, you're in your late 20s. Mommy and Daddy pamper you even to this day, you stuck up, tight ass, spoiled rich kid. You people make me sick! Fuck off and leave me alone! And don't pretend like you understand because you don't! I don't care if you've known someone with an eating disorder!" Her words stabbed him in the heart and made his anger boil. House was even more worried, not knowing what Chase's reaction would be. Chase closed his eyes, centered himself, and opened them to stare her in the eyes with anger behind them.

"First off, my mother died years ago. She was an alcoholic who drank herself to death." Cameron and Foreman raised their eyebrows in surprise. "Second, my father left when I was still quite young, leaving me to take care of my mother. I was never pampered. My father is rich, I am not. I do not rely on my father because I haven't spoken to him in years. Third, how do you know that I don't understand?" He paused, feeling himself become too emotional; he breathed deeply again.

"I was very close with the person I knew with the eating disorder. When you have that kind of relationship with someone, you kind of bounce off of each other; you're not really different from each other, so it's easier to relate to the other person." House continued to eye Chase carefully as Lily's anger began to ebb away as she listened to Chase.

"In all honesty," Chase continued, lightening his tone of voice. "People like you make me sick, thinking that you're the only going through what you are. I don't know your life's history and quite frankly, I don't care. But don't you come in here bitching that your life sucks because let me tell you, yours is a lot better than a lot of other peoples'. Do what Dr. House tells you and you'll get out of here so that you can continue to bitch about everything around you." With that, Chase left, leaving behind a stunned silence.

**HouseXChase**

When they returned to the conference room, they noticed that Chase's things were gone. House sighed quietly. He had a strong feeling that getting the case was pushing it too far, but at least it got Chase to talk a little bit. He expected for the blonde to say that he knew someone with an eating disorder; not saying that it was actually him with it.

"Cameron, go be mushy-gushy with the brats in pediatrics. Foreman, go do my clinic hours." House said, as he limped down the hallway.

"What about you?" Cameron asked after him.

"My wombat ran away"

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Boom. A simple statement with massive implications. ^_^**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dearest Readers,**

**[Insert important comment here.]**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 7**

Chase sat on the kitchen counter, kicking his feet lightly as he waited for the kettle to whistle. His anger was bubbling like the water in the kettle; he was pissed at House for picking Lily's case, knowing that it was because she had an eating disorder. He picked up the tea mug that was next to him as the kettle began to whistle, signaling that the water was boiling. Holding the mug by the handle and holding the string of the teabag against the side of it with his finger, he pouring the hot liquid into the mug, enjoying the smell of tea that was floating up towards him.

He placed the kettle back on the stove and put the cup next to him again, picking up the crossword puzzle book that he put behind him. He loved doing puzzles; they helped him take his mind off of other things and made him think. Tapping the pencil against his lips and continuing to kick his feet lightly, he heard an odd buzzing sound coming from his left. Looking up, he realized it was a fly and sighed: he hated bugs.

He batted the fly away and turned back towards his puzzle, but sighed again when he heard the buzzing coming back towards him. He looked for the fly and realized that it had landed on the rim of his teacup. He swatted at it but harder than he meant to and sent his freshly brewed tea to the floor. Chase made an annoyed growl in his throat and pushed himself off the counter to grab the broom to sweep up the glass; his black lounging pants brushing lightly against the floor.

**HouseXChase**

House's fist hovered a couple inches from the door, prepared to knock when he heard something break. Even though he had a strong feeling that Chase was perfectly fine and just dropped something, he couldn't help but feel worry creep back into him. Knowing that Chase would get angry at him, he opened the door and let himself in, looking for the blonde.

Closing the door softly, he walked towards the light coming from the kitchen. Peering around the corner, his thought was confirmed when he saw a broken mug on the floor. He took a few steps into the kitchen and heard Chase walking back towards him. He heard a surprised yelp and looked up.

"_God _you scared me." Chase said, leaning lightly against the broom to slow down his pounding heart.

"Sorry, I heard something break."

"What are you doing here?" Chase asked, walking towards the mess and began sweeping; doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice.

"I know I made you upset," House started as Chase continued to sweep. He knew that Chase was channeling his anger through the sweeping because he was using more energy than was necessary. He sighed lightly; he hated making Chase upset.

"Why did you do it?" Chase asked, still sweeping even though all the glass was in a pile.

"I wanted you to see what will happen if you continue doing what you are."

"So you wanted to rub it in my face?" Chase shot back, anger seeping into his voice. House was taken aback. Chase thought he was rubbing his problem in his face?

"Chase, that wasn't my intention. I just wanted you to see what will happen if you don't accept help for what you're going through." He paused. "I honestly couldn't find an Anorexia case, so I had to settle for a Bulimia one." Chase let out a small sound of annoyance has he sweep up the glass, threw it away, and walked to the closet to put the broom away.

"I didn't need to see Lily to know that I can end up in the hospital, or dead, because of this." Chase said, tossing a few paper towels on the floor on top of the tea and moved them around with his foot, mopping up the tea.

"It was more of a visual reinforcement."

"Alright," Chase said simply, bending down to pick up the paper towels and threw them away.

"You don't care about that, do you?" House asked, taking a few steps towards him.

"Nope," Chase said, looking up at him. House hesitated before carefully reaching out and grabbing Chase's right wrist. The blonde looked down at his hand and then back up at him, confused.

"What are you doing?" House began to tug him towards the door.

"Slip some shoes on; we're going outside."

**HouseXChase**

They walked towards a small park area near Chase's apartment building; the warm late-summer breeze rustling their clothes, blowing blonde hair into Chase's eyes. House pulled Chase towards a nearby bench and they both sat. Chase noticed that House hadn't let go of his wrist, even as they sat on the bench. He turned to look up at the older man and was surprised to see how calm House looked. His eyes were a clear crystal blue as he looked up at the evening sky and he could've sworn that there was a slight trace of a smile tugging at his lips. He's never seen House so calm and peaceful.

"What are we doing out here?" Chase asked bringing House back to reality.

"You, my dear Aussie, have never taken the time to just stop and admire the world around you. Look," He pointed to a nearby tree to a bird making a nest. "That bird has a family…it has a life…has a meaning and purpose." He turned to look at Chase who was staring at the bird,

"You have a meaning too…you just have to stop and actually look for it. I have come to find that a person's meaning in this life is a lot closer to them than they think." Chase turned to look at him; they locked eyes. Chase felt his anger die down and was replaced by a sense of calm.

_Since when has House thought of things like that?_

"What…have you found yours?" He asked hesitantly. House smiled slightly and looked back up at the sky; his small smile enchanting Chase, who has never seen the older man express so much positive emotion.

"Mine? Yeah, I found it a few years ago." He paused and Chase felt a blush creep to his face as House rubbed his thumb against his skin, making his arm tingle. "Before you came to the hospital, people can tell you, I was an ass…still am." Chase let out a light laugh, making House's smile widen slightly.

"But, I treat you differently from everyone else because I've always known that you were someone special." Chase's blush deepened and he decided to make a bold move as he pulled his arm away from House and slipped his hand into his. A spark seemed to have been light in House's eyes.

"You're a puzzle, that's what drew me to you in the first place. I like to think that I'm not as much of an ass to you as I am with other people." Chase let out another laugh, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, you're right, and I'm grateful." House felt his heart leap as he saw a smile grace Chase's face. "So…" Chase started. "What is it? Your purpose?" House continued to search Chase's eyes, entranced by every aspect of them. He felt his heart pound in his chest.

"To protect you."

Chase's eyes widened as he felt his body freeze. What did House just say? Did he say that he wanted…to protect him? That he felt like that's his 'job'? To protect him? To be with him? He felt intense emotion fill him, unfreezing his body. His fondness of House warmed every part of him, and he felt like a fire was burning inside of him at the realization that House had the same feeling for him.

_Who would have thought…that House could be like this?_

House watched as Chase processed what he just said, knowing that he was feeling a bit overwhelmed. But he also felt a huge pressure being lifted from his shoulders, making it easier to breathe. Chase's eyes continued to stare up at him, now filled with something he couldn't name.

Chase tightened his grip on House's hand as he realized how close he and House were sitting. Feeling bold again, he reached out, hooked a finger into House's shirt collar, and pulled him towards him, feeling a new wave of warmth wrap around him when their lips touched.

House felt a brief moment of shock at Chase's action, but then reached up and placed his other hand around the back of Chase's neck, feeling his soft blonde hair brush against his skin. There was no fight for dominance, just a simple sense of content.

They pulled apart, Chase's green-blue eyes looked up at House, catching the light of the sun that was a beautiful shade of orange. House reached up and brushed a chunk of blonde hair away from Chase's face, tucking it behind his ear. Chase smiled slightly up at him and scooted closer to him, and rested his head against his shoulder. House rubbed his thumb against Chase's hand, amazed by the softness of his skin.

They both knew that no words needed to be spoken. As House stared at the sun that was now mostly hidden by the trees, he knew that Chase would now be more open to recovery and healing now that he knew that someone cared deeply about him.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Aww, wasn't that sweet? Sweet-ish? ^_^**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	8. Chapter 8

**Dearest Readers,**

**Just a fun fact, I am now the proud owner of 4 pretty blue fish. ^_^**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 8**

They sat on the bench until the night fell and the chill of the cold wrapped around them, making them begin to shiver.

"Come on, Wombat. Let's go back inside." House said, pulling Chase up by his hand and led the way back to his apartment.

As they walked, House noticed that Chase was walking slowly, lingering slightly behind him.

_Why is he doing that?_

"You do know you can walk along side me, right?" Chase snapped his head up him and blushed. He turned back down at the sidewalk and continued walking, House deciding to remain quiet until they reached Chase's apartment.

Chase fumbled with his keys as he found his apartment key, House observing Chase's hand shake as it took him a few moments to get the key in the lock. He felt Chase's grip on his hand tighten as he unlocked the door pushing it open ajar. Pulling the key out of the lock, Chase stood motionless, keys dangling in his hand.

"What's wrong?" House asked softly, standing closely to him, their noses almost touching. Chase's eyes stared up at him, having a slightly glassy look.

"I…I don't want to be by myself." A fond smile spread across House's face.

"Who said I'd be leaving you by yourself?" Chase's eyes widened momentarily, but then a small smile graced his face, charming House. Still holding his hand, Chase pushed the door fully open and led House inside.

**HouseXChase**

"Robbie," House said softly, causing the blonde to look at him from around the refrigerator door.

"Yeah?" He noticed House's hesitation and closed the door, placing the coffee creamer on the counter. He walked over to House and stood in front of him, looking curiously up at him.

"Are we okay?" House asked quietly, hating the timid tone of his voice. Chase felt his heart begin to thunder in his chest. Gently, he grabbed House's hand, pulled him closer, and pressed his lips gingerly against House's.

"Yeah, we're okay." Chase said against House's lips as he pulled away.

He felt House wrap his other around his waist, pulling him flush against his front. Chase felt a light blush creep to his face as he looked into House's clear blue eyes, surprised by House's act of affection and possession. House released a quiet chuckle at Chase's blush as he tightened his grip on Chase's hand, remembering how it wasn't too difficult to make the blonde blush.

House reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from Chase's face, making him smile lightly, his eyes glowing. Chase grabbed House's shirt collar and captured his lips again, wrapping his other arm around the older man's neck. Cautiously, House parted Chase's lips and began to explore carefully, surprised at the younger man's passionate response. Chase wrapped both his arms tightly around House's neck as he felt a swelling feeling of passion start in his core and flow to the rest of his body; lighting his soul.

They parted, breathless. As House looked into Chase's eyes, he noticed that they seemed to sparkle in the light. They didn't say anything as Chase laid his head on House's shoulder, nuzzling his neck lightly. No words were necessary as House continued to hold Chase against him, feeling his steady heart beat lightly against his chest. Slowly, Chase closed his eyes contently as the feeling of safety wash over him.

**HouseXChase**

"House!"

"Cuddy!" House shot back as he stared at the symptoms on the board. Cuddy rolled her eyes and stood in the doorway of the conference room.

"House,"

"Cuddy!"

"I didn't shout that time!"

"You did then."

"House." Chase said warningly, giving House a look that said 'If you continue being a big ass, I'll punch you.' House sighed and looked at Cuddy, who was surprised that he listened to Chase.

_Since when did House listen to anyone? I'm his boss and he doesn't listen to me!_

"House,"

"Cud—"

"Don't!" Chase said loudly, giving House another look.

"Fine, Dr. Cuddy what can I do for you on this glorious day?" House said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'll get right to the point. The Eating Disorders and Outreach Program Summit is coming to New Jersey." Chase felt himself pale; he had a feeling where this was going to go.

"The what?" Cameron asked as she stared at Cuddy confused.

"The Eating Disorders and Outreach Program summit. It's basically an organization that travels around the country to raise awareness and recovery support about eating disorders. They're coming here in two weeks and I want you, House, to be nice to them because the doctors here at PPTH are going to the summit." House surprised Cuddy by not groaning. "Also," She continued, "You need to write a little something start the whole thing off." This was where House groaned. "It doesn't have to be long! But, I want you to do it because there's going to be a lot of important people there who actually want to know who you are. You're doing it."

"What exactly goes on in the summit?" Foreman asked from his place by the wall.

"Basically, people who raise awareness of EDs give words of encouragement, recent studies and statistics, things like that; and then they actually get people who struggle with an ED to speak up about it to encourage more awareness."

"Oh, wow. I bet that's hard for them." Cameron said and Cuddy nodded.

"Yeah, I went to it when I was in California…it's a tear-jerker to say the least. Oh and another thing," She said looking around the room, "I want one of you to say something too." They looked at her in confusion and House watched Chase carefully, waiting for a reaction. To his surprise, he smiled.

"I'll do it." Chase spoke up and Cuddy nodded at him.

"Good, thanks for volunteering. Your part is mainly to start off the portion of the summit where people who have an ED actually talk about it. They're nervous, so they need to be calmed down a little bit before they go up. I know that you three are good at public speaking." Chase nodded and flashed House a small smile.

"Alright, you two have some writing to do. It's the Friday after next, so you better be ready by then." With that, she left.

"That's great that you volunteered, Chase!" Cameron said excitedly, "I wouldn't be able to do that; not with that much pressure!" Foreman nodded and smiled at Chase and Chase felt himself glow.

He could do this. If he can start the process of healing and recovery, then he can tell others that that first step is worth it without being a hypocrite. A small smile crept to his face as he realized that he actually had a lot to say. House noticed this smile as well and was already anxious to hear what Chase was going to say.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**Most important chapter is next!**

**Yes, the Eating Disorders and Outreach Program summit is a real thing. It does do what I said it does…but work with me here.**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dearest Readers,**

_****NOTICE****_** The letter that Chase reads in this chapter was originally by Stephanie ****Koszalka, who works for To Write Love on Her Arms. I edited the letter a little bit some so that it applied to Chase more. **

**I ask you to do one thing…read the letter carefully, it's truly a beautiful letter that people can learn so much from. At the end of the chapter, I'll give you instructions on how to find the original letter.**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 9**

Chase stared at himself in the mirror, his hands already clammy with nerves. He decided to not wear a suit, but instead chose to wear slimming black slacks, shiny black shoes, and a white long-sleeved button-up shirt, the top couple button open to show the upper part of his chest. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, making his bangs fall into his eyes. He flashed himself a smile, he hasn't felt this good in years.

He walked out of the bathroom to grab his keys and letter that he planned to read for the night. He unfolded his letter and glanced at the handwritten letters. He didn't bother to type it out or make it fancy. No, what he had written down was what he truly wanted to say…what he was going to say.

He knew that Cameron, Foreman, Cuddy, Wilson, and every doctor at PPTH was going to be there and he found that he really didn't mind that they would find out his secret that he's hidden for the past 6 years. His main intention in this letter was to not only encourage others to accept themselves as who they are, but it was also for him to tell himself what he needed to as well. He chuckled lightly at the thought of talking to himself in front of other people, but what he was going to say needed to be said. He ran a hand one more time through his hair and left to go to the summit.

**HouseXChase**

The coliseum where the summit was going to be held was massive and packed with people. Chase walked along the sidewalk and spotted Cuddy and Wilson and walked over to them. They smiled at him and Chase fiddled with his fingers and looked for House, Cameron and Foreman. Cameron and Foreman showed up a little time later and they all stood, waiting for House. Chase felt a smile creep to his lips as he thought that it was typical of House to be late for any and everything. He jumped slightly as he felt a hand lightly touch his lower back. He looked up and locked eyes with House, who was standing closer to him than he usually would with anyone else. Wilson noticed this, but decided to not say anything…for now.

"House, whatever you're going to say tonight…it better be appropriate." Cuddy warned as they walked inside to take their seats near the stage. House chuckled.

"You only said I had to write something to start this thing off, you never said it had to be appropriate." Cuddy paled and Chase laughed lightly, knowing that House was kidding.

"He's only kidding." Chase reassured Cuddy as they sat down; Cuddy glared at House who chose to ignore her. The coliseum darkened and a woman with dark hair stood behind the podium, light beaming down on her.

"Good evening everyone! My name is Lisa Paterson [1]. I am the founder of the Eating Disorders and Outreach Program Summit, thank you for coming and showing your support."

Chase heard House groan slightly and he smiled; House hated attending events like these. He slipped his hand into House's and gave it a light squeeze. House looked at him and rubbed his hand with his thumb, House knew that Chase was more nervous than anyone else here.

"And now," Lisa Paterson said, "I would like for you to welcome Dr. Gregory House of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital to the stage to say a few words before we get this summit started."

House didn't move for a few seconds and Chase kicked him in the shin of his good leg, making him move. House sighed and stood and limped towards the stage and stood on the spot that Lisa once occupied. He sighed again before he spoke to the large crowd.

_Cuddy better damn well appreciate this._

"Even though I'm a doctor, I never took a real interest in eating disorders until a few weeks ago. When you see people come in basically everyday with either anorexia or bulimia, you kind of become immune to the fact that you can see every one of their bones or that the person is slowly deteriorating from the inside. However," He looked at Chase straight in the eye, "when someone close to me showed signs of Anorexia," Cuddy, Wilson, Cameron, and Foreman were gripped with confusion.

_What? House isn't close to anybody, so who is he talking about? _

"It was a wake-up call, so to speak." House continued. "This someone later confessed that he had been struggling with the disorder for about 6 years, even before he came to Princeton-Plainsboro." Wilson's and Cuddy's eyes darted towards Chase, who was calmly looking at House. "He hid it very well and I never noticed until another doctor questioned me about his condition." Dr. Matthews smiled as he remembered the day that he confronted House about Chase. "The person I speak of will actually be talking to you later on tonight, so I'll leave him to say the rest."

He limped off the stage as people clapped; Chase's face was red with a bright blush. House sat down and found Chase's hand.

"You look nice by the way." House said, turning towards Chase whose blush deepened.

**HouseXChase**

The night passed on smoothly. Doctors from around the country came to the stage and spoke words of encouragement and knowledge to those in the audience struggling with an eating disorder. House could tell that Chase was hanging on to every last word that was spoken. He was still holding the blonde's hand, reassuringly. He knew that it was getting close for Chase to speak and he was anxious to hear what Chase was going to say. Lisa Paterson was back on stage.

"And now it is that time in the summit where we actually get to hear accounts on what it's like to deal with an eating disorder from people who are struggling with one. So to start us off with a few words, please welcome Dr. Robert Chase from Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital."

House squeezed his hand reassuringly as Chase stood and walked towards the stage, trembling slightly. He could do this.He stood behind the podium, taking in his surroundings. He tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, accidentally revealing more of his prominent collarbone than he meant to. Wilson, Cuddy, Cameron and Foreman looked at Chase, stunned by the newly shown thinness. Chase looked up, took a deep breath, and spoke.

"For the past 6 years, I've had tunnel-vision towards all the things that I was told when I was a child. I never got compliments growing up; it was always insults and things that no child, or anyone for that matter, shouldn't hear and endure." He paused. "But at the time, I honestly thought that those things were normal because no one was around to tell me otherwise. I grew up believing that I was fat, hideous, and worthless of any kind of affection." House glanced towards the others, seeing that Cuddy and Cameron were getting emotional as Wilson and Foreman sat in stunned silence.

"I grew up believing that to be worthy of any kind of attention and affection was to be perfect. Then I moved to the United States, which reinforced this belief. But a short time ago, someone challenged this belief." He chuckled lightly. "I hated his guts at first." A soft ripple of laughter swept through the crowd.

"I realized that the longer I let Anorexia dictate my life, the more of my life I was giving away. The more I allowed Anorexia to control every aspect of my life and every one of my thoughts and feelings, I realized that I was letting my eating disorder kill me. I was letting Anorexia take me away and I never fought back against it. But as of late, I have been fighting against it." He opened the piece of paper that he had written his letter on and briefly flashed it for everyone to see.

"This may sound silly to a lot of you, but when I had all of these realizations, I had to convince another part of myself that these things are true: my physical being. So, I decided that that part of me needed to know these things in order for me to begin healing." Another soft chuckle left his lips. "Sometimes the things that need to be said are often best seen and heard…so I actually wrote a letter to my physical being. To some of you, that may sound stupid. But to me, it's extremely helpful…and something that I encourage others to do." He flattened out the piece of paper and began to read:

_Dear Body,_

_I have always let some imperfection or another stand in the way of me seeing what you truly are: that you are beautiful. You are a divine____creation, housing the most valuable thing known to the universe: my soul. I'm beginning to realize that a person's soul has the capacity to radiate light that transcends all the characteristics that I have been conditioned to believe are flaws._

_You naturally tell a story. Your blue-green veins are like a map to where your heart has been and where it is going. The curve of your waist and the shape of your cheekbones tell a tale of heritage and ethnicity. There are crayon markings on the wall, somewhere, that has measured your height throughout the years. Always returning to the same spot to see how you've changed._

_Your body begins as a story, but continues with new chapters throughout your life. Some are chapters of sadness and pain, others of joy, and all of growth. Each chapter is a blank canvas meant to be painted by our experiences. Photos are memories, but so are our bodies in a way that's more real: no posing and no fakeness. I'm realizing these things now, but I'm sorry that I didn't realize them before. I've done everything I could to destroy the canvas and deface and burn the pages of different chapters._

_I've waged war on you before. I've used razor blades to feel and drugs to numb. I've used caffeine to stay awake and alcohol to sleep. I abused the side effect of certain medication: loss of appetite, to deliberately starve myself to make you skinner. I have spent far too much time on a scale that merely weighs your effect on gravity, not the depth of your beauty. But in the ruins, there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though I've been in dark places, I've survived…I've learned…I've become stronger._

_Dear body, as I grow older, I worry about how you will age. Together we will gain wisdom and wrinkles, after being young and beautiful and naïve. The wisdom tells us that the beauty does not subside, it only changes, and more of it comes from within. So I won't worry when my hair doesn't look just right, or when I do something stupid and emerge with another scar because you are telling a story. And what would I be without my story…and my past? _

Chase let out a deep sigh and felt a smile creep to his face as he looked up and saw that had had been impacted profoundly by what he just said. His smile widened.

"People always say that it only takes one person to make a difference in someone's life. Someone made a difference in mine," He glanced towards House, "So I'm 'paying it forward'. I hope that I did what I intended to do: make a difference, no matter how minor. I have to potential to change someone's life and so do you."

He picked up his paper and walked off stage to thunderous applause, his face burning with a blush. He flopped down in his seat next to House and grabbed his hand. He did it, it was done.

The hardest thing he's ever done thus far in the process of healing was done.

He felt a sense of freedom wash over him.

"I'm very proud of you, Wombat." House whispered as he squeezed Chase's hand. Chase smiled widely and turned towards the stage and listened to people talk about their struggles, his heart going out to every one of them.

As he sat there, he began to realize that his life was starting to turn into something beautiful.

He was ready to change.

He was ready to get his life back.

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**I do hope that that letter had some kind of impact on you. It certainly did with me.**

****Directions on how to see the original:****

**Go to the To write love on her arms website (.com)**

**Go to the "blog" button at the top**

**Go to "general" (in yellow) to the right**

**Scroll down until you see "DEAR BODY: A LETTER INSPIRED BY NEDAWARENESS WEEK"**

**xXxXx**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dearest Readers,**

**Alas, this is the last chapter. I do hope that you'll continue on to read the sequel, "You." I'll also be starting the process of editing that story as well. Do note that I've hit a massive writer's block on steroids for "You", so I figured the least I can do is edit it…also because I don't like some parts of it.**

**Read on, Cherubs.**

**Over and out.**

**Chapter 10**

They were in the parking garage, everyone said goodnight and went their separate ways while House and Chase continued to walk to where they parked. They were in comfortable silence and Chase grabbed House's hand, now that they were alone, and they came to a stop when they reached Chase's car. Chase looked at his car, he didn't want to leave House; he looked up at the older man and smiled slightly, the last few weeks have seemed too good to be true but also overwhelming. House leaned his cane against the car and wrapped his arms around Chase, pulling him closer.

"You did well tonight, Robbie." He whispered in his ear, sending shivers down Chase's spine. He kissed Chase's temple and looked him in the eyes, finding them to be shining in the parking garage light. Chase wrapped his arms around House's neck and brought them even closer.

"I…I don't want to be by myself tonight." He said, looking up at House to find a gentle smile on his features, but he also felt a blush creep to his face. House laid a light kiss on the tip of his nose and pulled away.

"I'll meet you at your place." He said and Chase smiled and nodded, feeling like a teenage girl with a crush.

**HouseXChase**

House arrived just as Chase was unlocking his door. Chase turned and smiled at him as he let them both in and turned on the lights. House closed the door and stared as Chase putted around in the kitchen, grabbing glasses, filling them with ice cubes and water. The light from the kitchen lights reflected on Chase's blonde locks and made his skin look even more flawless.

He never really took the time to look at Chase's apartment. The first thing he noticed was a black piano sitting to his left, sheets of music in organized piles on the floor. He then noticed that the apartment was very clean and organized, nothing was out of place.

"I'm a little bit of a neat-freak." Chase said as he handed him a glass of water. House took it and they walked towards the couch and sat in comfortable silence.

"I didn't know you played piano." House said after a while; Chase nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, I've been played since I was about 10 years old. It was my way of getting thoughts of my dad out of my head."

"Did he buy you the piano?" Chase chuckled lightly.

"Oh no. He never bought me anything. I got that particular piano when I came to America. The piano I learned on was my neighbor's…I liked her." Chase sat his glass down and walked over to the piano. House, in turn, placed his glass down and stood next to Chase as he looked down at the piles of music on the floor. "I can never decide who my favorite is." Chase laughed as he looked up at House.

House smiled and turned Chase towards him and wrapped his arms around his waist possessively. Chase brought up his arms and wrapped them around House's neck, bringing their faces closer. Their breaths lingered between them, both intoxicating. House closed the gap between them and deepened the kiss as soon as Chase's lips parted. House won dominance immediately and ran his hands underneath Chase's shirt, wanting to feel more. Chase brushed his hands over House's shoulders and down his chest, taking in the muscles that lay underneath the clothes.

_Damn clothes. _

He pulled House as close as possible, wanting everything the older man had to offer. They broke apart, panting. They stared at each other's eyes, while still clinging to each other.

"Stay?" Chase asked, not really able to ask the full question. House smiled lightly again.

"I'm never leaving even if you want me to. I'm a stubborn man and you'll have to kill me to get rid of me."

**HouseXChase**

**Alright Gang,**

**All done! I do hope you guys like the editing! Or if you're reading this for the first time, I hope you've enjoyed the story!**

**Please continue on to the sequel, "You", which mainly focuses on the relationship between House and Chase.**

**Reviews would be wonderful!**

**Keep safe,**

**When-Rabbit-Howls**


End file.
